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September 30, 2003

Sometimes "friends" surprise you

I've been a very lucky person all of my life. I've been through a lot of stuff but things have always turned out ok. I've shared a lot about my life with many people but I can honestly say that not once up until now have I regretted it.

You know that deep down fear of someone hearing something about you that they may not like or cause them to pull away? I've taken a lot of gambles and almost always come out ok but this time it didn't turn out so well... I'm not going to go into detail but just to say I learned a lot. It hasn't been easy and I've avoided saying anything about it but I gotta say, I've learned that being burned in a friendship is a real thing.

I've prided myself in being a straight-shooter with people and I've assumed that those I've opened my life up to were very similar. That's not always the case. It's clear to me now that the person I thought I had a lot in common with and who I could be great friends with has backed away for some reason I still won't know. We talked and I thought a misunderstanding was cleared up but it never was. Broken friendships just like relationships sometimes need to be ditched so you don't end up bleeding out for something that isn't worth it. You know who you are if you're reading this. Don't worry, I won't bother you, you've made things crystal clear. Let me know if you want your books mailed to you. I'm done. And one of my favorite quotes, "I'm happy, hope you're happy too."

Consider this the last part in the series.

Posted by beamz at 9:54 PM | Comments (0)

September 29, 2003

G5 picture

I forgot to mention I ordered more than one G5. Now I can have the supercomputing cluster that I've always wanted like the one at Virginia Tech. (These are actually just a bunch that arrived at work)

G5 Cluster1.JPG

Posted by beamz at 10:37 AM | Comments (0)

September 28, 2003

The G5 came.

My absense of posting can be attributed to my Apple G5 dual 2GHz mac arriving. Incidentally I had to buy a new UPS because the unit has a 600 watt power supply. For those not familiar with PC's, the average Pentium 4 PC has a 350 watt power supply.

The machine screams and it's one of the best pieces of technological engineering that I've ever encountered. The machine itself is rather large but again, it's beautiful. I'll post pics later.

Posted by beamz at 8:44 PM | Comments (1)

Magnatune - What online music distribution should be

Magnatune: try before you buy MP3 music.

This is beyond cool. Magnatune offers music for its artists for as little as $5. The beautiful thing is that they:

1) Offer both uncompressed wav files AND mp3's
2) The artist gets 50% of the purchase
3) The music is licensed under the Creative Commons license
4) Choose how much you'd like to pay from between $5 to $18 per album

The selection is very small right now but I purchased an album by Ehren Starks which was a New Age piano and cello composition called "The Depths of a Year". The other thing is that unless paid through paypal, the order isn't a secured transaction but the guy behind it all says this will be fixed in a day or two. Seriously, take a look at what they've got and if you enjoy any of it, I strongly recommend you buy some of it.

Note: This was posted on Slashdot.org earlier today.

Posted by beamz at 8:16 PM | Comments (1)

September 25, 2003

My Apple G5 has finally shipped

My G5 has finally shipped from Apple. The only time I can remember being this excited about a computer was when I got my first one. Part of this is because I've been working on a slow 350Mhz G4 loaner.

It should arrive Friday but I might end up going to Michigan this weekend to spend time with my family so I don't know if I'm going to have time to play with it much.

Posted by beamz at 11:59 AM | Comments (1)

September 22, 2003

How privileged are you?

Aref-Adib: Privileged minority

Click here to find out.

"You are in the top 0.809% richest people in the world. There are 5,951,427,435 people poorer than you."

Makes me realize how well off I am and that just barely scrapes the surface as to what I have that most others in the world don't.

This weekend:
I did nothing. Kris went to work at 11pm Saturday night and came home Sunday at 1pm. There have been nothing but blunders on a project she is working on partially caused by vendors having to cut costs and outsource technical support.

We did go to Barnes and Noble and muse the cd's. There's something about brick-and-mortar that amazon.com just can't compete with even though I do a ton of business with them.

My dual 2GHz Apple G5 should hopefully ship soon due to the fact that they've put a hold on my credit card.

Posted by beamz at 10:04 PM | Comments (1)

September 18, 2003

Some People Can't Get Anywhere...


Ever find yourself not going anywhere in life? Ever feel like the world is against you? Ever feel like people ignore you? Maybe it's because you've got "Dead End" written on your forehead in permanent marker.

Original photo here.

Posted by beamz at 12:45 PM | Comments (0)

September 17, 2003

The Saddam and 9/11 connection

Yahoo! News - Bush: No Proof of Saddam Role in 9-11

Bush publically admitted that there is currently no link between Saddam Hussein and the events of Sept. 11th. That's great but it means nothing.

The vast majority of people won't question Bush's decision to invade and occupy Iraq. He has used the word "evil" and "terror" so many times that everyone is convinced Saddam is really the devil. He also knows this was a smart political move. Why would he have come out now instead of before the war on Iraq?

Posted by beamz at 9:28 PM | Comments (0)

September 16, 2003

More About Me

As you've probaby already realized about me and this blog, it's not focused on anything in particular but it's the best representation of my head I've ever put down in writing.

Sometimes I write pointless rants and other times I write about things I really care about. Many of it means nothing to most of you but it just lets my mind "breathe". Things others often make an impact on me so I hope someday I can do the same for others. I know a lot think I'm an opinionated asshole but it's just because I'm growing thicker skin.

With that, here are some lyrics to munch on:

Overbearing panic attack entrenching my veins
In an hour I'll be okay I pray that this pain will go away permanently someday
I've seen more than I should have to I've seen this on my own

This song is a poem to myself it helps me to live
In case of fire BREAK the glass and move on into your own
your own

Reoccurring drowning effect entrenching my brain
I hope you'll be okay someday so I can say that you moved on in the right way
We've seen this and we've breathed this and we've lived this on our own

This song is a poem to myself it helps me to live
In case of fire BREAK the glass and move on into your own

Posted by beamz at 11:38 PM | Comments (1)

September 15, 2003

How to make the web useless

I wanted to read more about an Automatic inkjet cartridge refiller but going to the original link, it's not available. The Singapore Straights Times has decided to make content older than 3 days available only to paid subscribers.


Absolutely ridiculous.

Posted by beamz at 10:46 PM | Comments (0)

September 14, 2003


We're back home now. We had an incredible time while we were in Chicago. Last night after a great dinner at Gene and Georgetti's, we met up with a friend for drinks at a local Irish bar not too far from Gene and Georgetti's.

Today we got up, got ready and headed out to do some shopping before we came home. Made a stop at the Apple Store on Michigan Ave. which was gorgeous in terms of design. The other major stop was Crate and Barrel where we picked up a bunch of glasses to replace some broken ones. After going into the Apple Store and getting on a contemporary interior design kick, I bought some tumblers and coasters for the office in the loft.

I'm not ready to be back home yet but I think I'll survive. Kris and I got a lot of time to talk and bond which was very nice.

Posted by beamz at 9:54 PM | Comments (0)

September 13, 2003


It's definitely nice to be away from home for a weekend. We went to the Chicago Institute of Art and enjoyed it. I hadn't been there in years and Kris hadn't ever been there. She loved the French impressionism work. I'm more of a modern art and photography kind of person but there was something there for everyone.

Anyway, time to head off to dinner at Gene & Georgetti's and then out with Steve. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. For those of you with that special someone, don't forget a weekend retreat every now and again.

Posted by beamz at 7:30 PM | Comments (0)

September 12, 2003

The 'Man in Black' is gone too

CNN.com - The 'Man in Black' Johnny Cash dead at 71 - Sep. 12, 2003

Johnny Cash also passed away. He was around long before I was and has done some incredible work. He had a good career and I hope he felt that way too.

Posted by beamz at 6:52 AM | Comments (0)

Three's no longer company

CNN.com - Emmy-winning actor John Ritter dead at 54 - Sep. 12, 2003

I watched Three's Company when it was on and now 8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter. John Ritter managed to have good chemistry with the people he worked with.

Posted by beamz at 6:46 AM | Comments (0)

September 11, 2003


This week has been pretty messed up. I need to get away from town so as a "spurt of the moment" move, we're going up to Chicago for the weekend. I'm just bombed mentally and need some time away to think and relax. As a huge bonus, I'll be going with the love of my life, my wife.

Screw everything else, we deserve this.

Posted by beamz at 10:13 PM | Comments (0)

September 10, 2003

My namesake.

My sister Polly is one of the most incredible people in the world. Well I just realized I haven't blogged about one of the most incredible things she has done, at least for me.

She named her first baby girl after me, "beamz". It's still one of those things that takes time to sink in because it is an incredible honor (even if the in-laws may be shocked to learn their grandbaby's name is 'beamz').

Here she is:


Posted by beamz at 11:58 PM | Comments (0)

September 9, 2003

Cheap way to fly

Man ships himself to parents' house

Apparently with the security provided by the Transportation Security Agency, it's now possible to safely travel as cargo on planes.

"DALLAS -- Charles McKinley found a unique way to save a few bucks getting to his parents' house: He crawled into a wooden airplane cargo crate and succeeded in shipping himself from New York to Texas."

Posted by beamz at 2:20 PM | Comments (0)

September 8, 2003

Tip #2 - Live power

The process of wiring new circuits in breakers can be an easy one but disasterous if not done carefully. Sometimes we may be wiring ceiling fans, new light fixtures, or even 220 volt circuits for large commercial equipment. This tip was discovered while talking to someone and seeing a huge flash out of the corner of my eye.

An electrician was attaching a wire to a new breaker he failed to turn off first. It flashed a brilliant bright light and he fell back away from the panel. I watched for a second and he looked a little stunned but shut off the breaker and continued working.

Lesson Learned: Don't play with live power.

Posted by beamz at 9:42 AM | Comments (0)

September 7, 2003

Iraq vs. Afghanistan

While watching this week's Real Time with Bill Maher, he threw out this interesting tidbit:

The United States spends $1 billion dollars a year on Afghanistan.
The United States spends $1 billion dollars a week on Iraq.

Isn't there something wrong with that? The Iraq postwar plan seems nonexistent and we're already getting warnings that we can't sustain the level of troops we have now in our occupation of Iraq for very long. The more difficult thing about this is that all the while, we've given lip service to Afghanistan and Hamid Karzai has said so himself when interviewed by Frontline.

There is so much that rides on our success in Iraq. This great editorial piece at the Washington Post says, "Does the Bush administration view the Middle East Transformation as a dollars-and-cents challenge with constitutions, elections and free enterprise thrown in for good measure? Or is the administration's grand Middle East vision up against something else, more central to the enmity that causes well-fed and educated people to fly planes into buildings and strap bombs around their waists: Islamic fundamentalism?"

Posted by beamz at 4:54 PM | Comments (4)

What You Want(TM)

I should've followed up yesterdays post last night but got tired so here is where we resume. I was being sarcastic about creating a predictive engine based on collaborative filtering.

Technology solutions are promising that they'll be able to tailor suggestions on information, purchases, and friends that best fit what your desires. The problem is that filtering leads to missed opportunities. One can argue that collaborative filtering (taking similar interests of a group to use as suggestions) gets around the issue of your own myopia. With this solution, we come to the issue that the scope of opportunities narrows as suggestions are given.

Now that I think that, the whole point I'm trying to make is meaningless due to the fact that the major outlets we get our asthetic objects from try to feed us the same meaningless crap over and over again. Level playing field given to indie artists is what needs to happen and hopefully over time consumers will continue to speak up.

I can't find a link at the moment but it I recall reading that the FCC ruling removing many of the media ownership rules has some roadblocks in the senate. I'll search some more.

Posted by beamz at 10:37 AM | Comments (0)

September 6, 2003

Off to a wedding.

Off to a wedding but I'll be back later tonight. Then I will be back to write about an intricate system I'm designing that will be able to predict everything you want or may be interested in similar to amazon.com's recommendation system.

Now if it could only recommend not having to go to a wedding AND giving a satisfactory reason acceptable to thos involved, life would be set.

Posted by beamz at 2:58 PM | Comments (1)

Friendships part 1

I'm pretty much an open book here and speak whatever is on my mind so here's something I've been thinking about over the last week.

Since highschool, I've found myself making great friends with people while they're around but over time when I move away, I lose touch. I've managed to keep in touch with 3 of my best friends over the last 7 years but everything else has faded away.

Fast-forward to today where over the past week or two I've come to know Pam pretty well. Each time I form highly valuable and important friendships, I try to explain my thoughts surrounding friendship a little better.

Why do I think so much about friendships?
Part of what I consider my neurosis has to do with the fact that during my years as a teenager, I moved around a lot and although I made some great friends, it felt as if I left them all behind at one point or another. To this day, I crave deep and meaningful friendships and pursue them any chance I get. Deep friendships come along once in a blue moon but give an incredible rush and warmth to your soul.

Importance of friendships...
Individualism isn't one of the characteristics I've embraced. Simply put, I believe in giving for the greater good. A single bond formed with another person may not be life altering for either people but it usually enhances the value over time. There are maybe one or two things I can say I absolutely regret during my past but one is because I hurt another individual emotionally very bad. However aside from that I don't regret a single transient experience but I wish they would've lasted over time instead of atrophy.

If one thing's for certain, life is sort and things change. I can't stop thinking about how privleged I am and the things I take for granted.

Posted by beamz at 12:44 AM | Comments (1)

September 4, 2003

Black ink

A chain reaction started today when I touched the plastic fingerprint ink dispenser at the bank which is used to endorse checks. Kris noticed when we walked out of the bank that I had a dot of pizza sauce on my cheek from lunch. She wiped it off like any loving wife would do and then I decided to make sure there was nothing on my face.

That's when I smeared black ink all over the side of my face as Kris looked in horror. She got some water, I wiped most of it off but she couldn't stop laughing because I looked like someone who just robbed the bank.

Lesson Learned: Don't touch the finger print ink dispenser.

Posted by beamz at 11:59 PM | Comments (1)

September 2, 2003


Record rainfall swamps region

We broke a 108-year-old record for rainfall in a single day yesterday. There are photo galleries in the link above just to show how bad it was. Many homes were flooded and people spent yesterday and today bailing out water. That's the most exciting thing besides Isiah Thomas being fired from the Indiana Pacers.

Posted by beamz at 7:04 PM | Comments (0)

September 1, 2003

Web bits

iTunes iSbogus

This is a funny but serious parody of the iTunes Music Service which Kevin Mark's posted.

Check out this video of a designer who gets frustrated with his mac.

Don't get me wrong, this doesn't change the fact that I ordered a dual 2ghz G5.

Is RSS the Answer to the Spam Crisis?

Afraid to sign up for newsletters because they contribute to your spam problems or just plain clog up your inbox? Read up on how RSS aggregating software allows you to get access to news feeds easier. Most blogs these days have RSS feeds which allow you to easily read information without having to go to the sites to see the latest posts or headlines.

Some software applications which allow you to view and organize rss feeds are News Monster and NetNewsWire.

Posted by beamz at 10:57 PM | Comments (2)